I have been relying on other people to support me for years. No, not financially, I pride myself on being able to do that for the most part. But emotionally. For some reason, I came to believe the people in my life that I love and support would love and support me in the same fashion, with the same honesty. Boy, have I been wrong.
There is no reason to go into all the details, but in truth, no matter how close people are to me in my life, the only person I can fully rely upon is myself. No one will have my back. No one else will honestly support me as I actually need. So, it is all up to me. And I am becoming okay with that. I admit that it is a painful lesson to learn. But I am learning it. I am tired of being hurt because I have not learned it.
So in this learning, I have realized that I just need to do what I need to do to be okay myself. To be healthy and happy.
I have been struggling with my weight for a long time. I keep failing. I keep relying on support that I just am not getting. I am done with that. It is harder without support, but it will be easier if I do not expect to get any. And that is where I am.
I have also learned that liars will always be liars. Period. I am done believing them or opening myself to them.
Spring is a time of growth and I am planning to take this information and grow from it and do the best that I can not to become bitter. Because if I am bitter then I have not learned my lesson. It is a lesson I need to learn.
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